A Dolphin's Life For Me

Made to Love

2011-12-28T20:50:00.002-05:00

Everywhere you look, everyone is looking for someone. This time of year it seems it is exaggerated. Some try the various hook-up websites. Others hit up the clubs or bars. Loser guys, who have already messed up and lost the girls of their dreams pathetically call, text, and message their exes, hoping against hope they can reconnect (all in vain, of course). Why do we do this? I think we all know deep down that more than anything we just want to love and be loved.

This year I have a slightly different perspective on love and relationships. For the first time ever I am starting off the year happily in love. I have dated guys who made me miserable and renewed my hatred for their entire half of the human race, but this time I will be ringing in the new year with the man I adore and who adores me back. I've known the pain of loneliness and have spent more than enough time trying to fill the silence of an empty house. It can be hard to attend the umpteenth wedding without a "plus one" - to answer all the questions about your relationship status (or lack thereof), or even worse - deal with all the cliche "the right one will come along..." Now I am not complaining. I truly wanted to be single and enjoy all the perks of the single life. It is just that as that chapter is quickly coming to a close, I am rejoicing in the romance, companionship, and camaraderie that can be found in this kind of relationship, and comparing it to what I have had thus far.

It is not shocking that people need relationships. We were made in the image of God, and as such, we are relational creatures. Think about it - we are the only creatures on God's green earth with an actual language (I do not want to hear about how monkeys can sign or how dolphins speak - it is NOT the same). We were made to commune with the God who made us, as well as to enjoy the rest of His creation. Relationships, both friendships and romantic relationships are a gift from Him. But all of that is supposed to point us back to Him.

If you feeling a little alone this year, renew your relationship with the God who made you to love. His love has the power to heal, to comfort, and to fill the void people may have left in your heart.

Never Forget

2011-09-11T16:04:00.003-04:00

9-11 will go down in infamy for at least our generation, if not those to come - a date marked by tragedy and grief; of destruction and chaos; of hatred and cowardice; but also of heroism, strength, unity, love, and patriotism. We remember those who lost their lives and honor those who gave their lives, but towards those who attacked us 10 years ago, we still give the rally cry "we will NEVER FORGET!"

For most of us, September 11th marked a turning point in our lives for one reason or another. Some of us lost loved ones, others changed the course of their lives by joining the military or changing their occupation or college degree (I fall into that last category). We were all affected in some way... What is your story? People have a tendency to ask "where were you?" I'd rather know, how did it change you? your world? life as you know it? Will you never forget? Why?

Hurricane Irene

2011-08-28T13:48:00.000-04:00

Here are a few pics of what we experienced on Long Island when Hurricane Irene rolled through...

a flooded van

one block from my family's house

a downed tree...

standing in front of my house

my street

Snapshots of Summer

2011-08-03T07:58:00.002-04:00

Robert Moses Beach on the 4th of July

Fireworks and a concert at Hecsher State Park

Before and After

2011-07-24T18:44:00.002-04:00

I have taken a few pictures along the way of how the apartment is coming along, so I thought I would post the before and after shots of one room just to give you an idea of what a difference all our work has made.

This is the bathroom (as you can probably tell). Mom removed all the gross paint stuff and wall paper and replaced the sink with a vanity. And voila!

white paint above... sponge painting below... so much better!

On Paint and the Past

2011-07-23T06:00:00.000-04:00

For those of you, who have been wondering where in the world I have been for the past several weeks... well, I have been kinda busy sanding, painting, and generally fixing up my parents' rental apartment. I have had a lot of time to think (it's impossible to talk with sanders going, so I was pretty much stuck with just my own thoughts). While I was sanding one of the doorways, the layers of paint chipped away, and beneath the beige, white, off-white, green, and white (in that order) paint, there was a beautiful, polyurathaned wood. I couldn't help but wonder what IDIOT would cover that gorgeous wood with PAINT?!?!?!? It got me thinking about how often that happens in real life. Generations never appreciate the one before it. In an effort to write their own history, they tend to try erasing the one prior. Once several generations have passed, eventually someone digs up the history and can appreciate what once was. Sometimes they take the time to remove the falsehood and mystery that recent history used to shroud the past, but more often than not, they are unwilling to put in the time and effort it would take to return to the way things were - to a time of honor and honesty, when men worked for a living and a person's word was his bond. Instead they just slop on their own shade of paint - pretend they never saw that glimpse from the past - that it doesn't exist.
Now, I am not saying that all history is good history or that all paint should never be painted over, but it is important to know what has been, before moving forward into what will be.

Old Rag

2011-06-30T14:10:00.005-04:00

CJ and I wanted to hike all of Old Rag (we started out a few months ago, but it was too late in the day when we set out and so the setting sun forced us to abandon our trek before we managed to summit Old Rag). This time around: mission accomplished!

It began all wooded and in the shade, for which we were very thankful - it was rather warm out.

As we got up near the top, the rocks were more prevelant (it became more of a rock climb than a hike) and the trees were rather dead looking.

The views of the surrounding mountains were breathtaking!

When we finally reached the top, we were more than ready to be there!

My feet were sore...

As we started back down, we ran across a deer (at 3,000' elevation!). We were rather surprised to see her, but she didn't seem the least bit disturbed by us. =)

When we reached the bridge (on our return hike) near the beginning at the trail, we could not have been more thrilled. 3 hours up and 4 down (we took the long way back)... we were EXHAUSTED!

Red Fuzzy Dice

2011-06-30T14:00:00.003-04:00

I was having a bad day till I drove up behind a little old man, driving a quinessential red 1960s Cadillac. It was in MINT condition! Just a thing of beauty. As I got closer, I caught a glimpse of the big, red, fuzzy dice hanging from the rearview. That just made my day. =)

Gender Reveal Parties? REALLY?!?!?!?!

2011-06-24T08:20:00.002-04:00

Apparently, it is a new trend...

Rather than find out your baby's gender in a doctor's office, the docter puts the gender of the baby in a sealed envelope. The pregnant woman then brings that envelope to a baker, who will bake a blue or pink cake, according to what is in the envelope. The couple throws a big party with all their family and friends, and they cut the cake to find out what they are having... boy or girl?

What will they come up with next?!

The Waltons

2011-06-22T08:59:00.001-04:00

While CJ was busy at the US Open (that is a golf event, in case you were wondering), I had a whole day to myself (what to do, what to do...). A recent blog post got me thinking about the TV show The Waltons, a show I often watched with my family in my adolescence. I decided that this would be the perfect opportunity to drive down to Schuyler, VA and see Earl Hamner's childhood home and the place that began the Walton saga (since CJ had never watched The Waltons, I knew he would not find any of it very interesting).

When I arrived at the museum, I was surprised that it was set up in the Schuyler public school (the school the Hamner children attended). As it turns out, the school closed in 1991, and the museum was set up some time after that. Different school rooms were set up as various rooms in the Walton house (as seen on the TV show).

In this collage of pictures, you can see the set of John-boy's bedroom, the kitchen, and Ike Godsey's General Store.

The set of the living room

The current General Store

Earl Hamner's boyhood home (smaller than Hollywood's depiction of it)

The little, white, Baptist church

Here you can see how close the General Store was to the Hamner home... there was no traveling down the mountain to get there. It was practically in their front yard!

This is the actual camera and equipment that was used in the filming of the Waltons.

The Waltons (part II)

2011-06-22T08:00:00.000-04:00

Anyone who has ever watched The Waltons, is familiar with the Baldwin sisters and "the recipe."

An actual distillary, though not actually the Balwins' (as the next picture explains)

a sign

THE Recipe

What I did not know was that the Baldwin sisters were based on a real-life mother/daughter duo, who really did make moonshine that was renown in the area. From what I was told, distillers usually used apples (apple cider) and fermented that. These two ladies used apricots instead, making all the difference (apparently).

A Day at the Vineyard

2011-06-20T14:01:00.001-04:00

I guess when you own your own massively huge vineyard, you can name the streets whatever you want.

The Barboursville Vineyard

A random barn at the vineyard (not that I can think of any reason why a vineyard would need a barn, but it was pretty)

Row of Grape Vines

Childhood Flashback

2011-06-20T10:56:00.003-04:00

I had a sudden itching to hear Rockapella sing Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?, so I looked on youtube and sure enough, it was there. Wow... it really brought me back!
Such witty lyrics... just read 'em for yourself. =)

Well she sneaks around the world from Kiev to Carolina,
She's a sticky-fingered filcher from Berlin down to Belize,
She'll take you for a ride on a slow boat to China,
Tell me where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

Steal their Seoul in South Korea, make Antarctica cry Uncle,
From the Red Sea to Greenland they'll be singing the blues,
Well they never Arkansas her steal the Mekong from the jungle,
Tell me where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

She go from Nashville to Norway, Bonaire to Zimbabwe,
Chicago to Czechoslovakia and back!

Well she'll ransack Pakistan and run a scam in Scandinavia,
Then she'll stick 'em up Down Under and go pick-pocket Perth,
She put the Miss in misdemeanor when she stole the beans from Lima,
Tell me where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?
Oh tell me where in the world is... Oh tell me where can she be?

Ooh, Botswana to Thailand, Milan via Amsterdam,
Mali to Bali, Ohio, Oahu...!

Well she glides around the globe and she'll flimflam every nation,
She's a double-dealing diva with a taste for thievery,
Her itinerary's loaded up with moving violations,
Tell me where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

A Few More Cavern Shots

2011-06-20T09:16:00.002-04:00

This underground lake is actually only a little over a foot deep, but the reflections of the stalactites make it look much deeper (and cool too!).

Totem Pole Valley

The Bath Towel

The Wishing Well

They drain this pool of water once a year and collect the coins, which are then donated to various charities. They have collected over a million dollars (my contribution is 17 cents).

Luray Caverns

2011-06-19T02:26:00.004-04:00

So, after almost six months in this area, I finally made it to Luray Caverns. It was amazing! I would highly recommend it.

A few shots from inside the caverns

Pluto's Ghost

Apparently, they named it Pluto's Ghost because Pluto was the Roman god of the underworld and it's a white rock formation (which stood out from the darker rock around it).

The Stalacpipe Organ

This organ literally plays the stalactites! Stalactites make sound when they are hit - they make different tones, depending on the size. The organ is connected to 37 different Stalactites with different tones. It played A Mighty Fortress is Our God. That was truly the highlight of the tour for me!

Fried Eggs

These were formed after two Stalacmites were broken off in the 1920s. They really did look like fried eggs (as you can see).

Rambles and Brambles

2011-06-14T13:18:00.005-04:00

The Rivanna River Trail has become a favorite of mine. Several nights a week you can find CJ and me hiking somewhere along it - I mean, there is not much else to do in sleepy Charlottesville! As a kid, I used to watch The Waltons, and I remember that they would travel into "the city" (i.e. Charlottesville) when they needed something that couldn't be purchaced on Walton's Mountain. But even in that show, Richmond was the larger, more sophistocated city of the two. But in this NYC girl's eyes, even Richmond looks like a little podunk town. However, I am learning to appreciate a bit of country living... learning to enjoy the simple pleasures (or at least that is what I often hear them called)... milk cows grazing in the fields, cylindric hay bales scattered across green meadows, brightly-colored insects that apparently kill the Ash trees (a post for another time), old barns whose paint is chipping and roofs are sagging, the sound of water tripping over stones on its way downstream, and little red berries that I seem unable to identify (but I think may be wild straberries, or somehow related).

The aforementioned berries

A home for the homeless

We came across a couple of homeless gentlemen on a recent hike. They had quite the set-up, so I thought maybe they were just Freegans. I am not quite sure what was up with the two lawnmowers and the edger (doesn't seem like there would be much need for that in the middle of the woods!).

CJ, hiking

When the brush got rather thick, we began question how far we should continue on the trail.

The Rivanna River

Then we came upon a lovely clearing with a bench, overlooking the river. Score!

All in all, it was another lovely evening in little C-ville.

Sad, but True...

2011-06-14T10:58:00.003-04:00

I came across this quote just this morning. I think it may just be spot on. It makes me wonder if this next election will really help us at all. I'd like to believe we are still a good country - the best country, but what witness around me every day really makes me question that belief. What we need is not a new president, but a new morality, or should I say a return to the old morality. Apart from Christ, there is no hope for change in this country.

"The danger to America is not Barack Obama but a citizenry capable of entrusting an inexperienced man like him with the Presidency. It will be far easier to limit and undo the follies of an Obama presidency than to restore the necessary common sense and good judgment to a depraved electorate willing to have such a man for their president. The problem is much deeper and far more serious than Mr. Obama, who is a mere symptom of what ails America . Blaming the prince of the fools should not blind anyone to the vast confederacy of fools that made him their prince. The Republic can survive a Barack Obama. It is less likely to survive a multitude of Idiots such as those who made him their president."

Now I Know...

2011-06-04T11:21:00.003-04:00

...why the South hates the North! My Central VA home has been invaded by New Jersey - and I don't like it (I think there is a family reunion of sorts going on this weekend). The normally smiling faces of the hotel clerks and sevice personnel , look a tad stressed. The fairly quiet building that has been my abode for these past few months has been transformed into a zoo. The southern cheer and hospitality I have come to love and expect is being eclipsed by grating accents, only surpassed by the brash personalities accompanying them.
For the first time in my life, I feel ashamed to call the North my home. Is that really how we act/sound?! Or is this group of people particulary loud and obnoxious? (I'm hoping it's the latter!)

Joke of the Day

2011-06-02T16:10:00.002-04:00

It's been a while since I've done a joke post, so here goes...

CJ: [pours remainder of ice from one cup into cup with iced tea] "look, I am consolidating."

Me: "Hahaha... yeah, consolidating your liquid assets."

[rim-shot]

Sometimes it amazes me...

2011-06-02T16:08:00.002-04:00

just how many fat people there are! America is truly the land of excess. It's sad...

"It's gonna be a scorcher!"

2011-06-01T08:33:00.003-04:00

I remember hearing those words often every summer throughout my childhood and always thought of it as code for "Get your bathing suit on. We're going to the beach!" I really didn't know what scorcher meant - actually, I wasn't even sure it was a real word (Mom was one for making up words to fit the need of the moment). Since then I have looked it up and saw that it merely means "a very hot day." But the phrase has stuck with me all these years and as I drove to the office this morning, AC blowing hard, I glanced up at the thermometer in my rental car and saw that it was alread 80 degrees at 8 o'clock in the morning. I thought to myself "wow, it is gonna be a scorcher!"

Rivanna Trail Foundation

2011-05-26T12:48:00.004-04:00

One of the pluses of C-ville, is the river trail that circumnavigates the city, marked by little diamond-shaped, metal signed, nailed to trees and posts.

There are a number of foot bridges, crossing the Rivanna River

The trailes can get pretty dense at times, making the trail almost undiscernable from the surrounding brush. So far I have not had any run-ins with Virginia's snakes, but I am always on the lookout just in case.

All the recent rains have actually washed out parts of the trail... but that did not stop us. Wading, anyone?

Your Mercies in Disguise...

2011-05-23T15:11:00.005-04:00

When trials come and difficulties arise, friendships disolve, loved ones pass away, and life seems particularly dark, we often question why. We wonder if there is a reason for it all and we try to make sense of it. For some, life has no purpose, and so good and bad times are just cycles of life that everyone goes through, devoid of rhyme or reason. For the Christian, meaning in life is expected, but sometimes hard to find. I recently heard a song that spoke to this very topic and thought I would share it here:

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

~ Blessings, by Laura Story

Rivanna Reservoir

2011-05-17T22:14:00.006-04:00

I didn't realize that I had know idea how to spell "reservoir" until CJ and I went on a hunt for the Rivanna Reservoir. I saw it on Google Maps one day when I was looking for directions for my lazor hair removal appointment (TMI? Oh, sorry.). I had been feeling overwhelmingly land-locked, here in Central VA (yes, I realize VA is on the Atlantic coast, but where I am living is so far from the ocean, I might as well be in a land-locked State), so I was desperate to see water - any water. I dragged CJ along on my quest, but didn't think to look up the specific directions. I knew the general vicinity - could even see the reservoir from the highway that runs through the city. But when we got to the right area, it seemed that none of the roads actually led to the water. I pulled out the GPS to type in Rivanna Reservoir and that was when it hit me that reservoir was a word I had never before spelled in my life. I couldn't even picture it in my mind's eye. In the end, it didn't matter. The GPS couldn't help us anyway. The only reservoir it would give us directions to was over 100 miles away (I still don't quite understand that one...). In the end, we parked the car on a nearby country road and found a little worn-away path in the brush and tall grasses that led us right to the falls of the reservoir. It was beautiful! CJ were both glad we went to all the trouble it took to find that spot... it was totally worth it!

If you don't believe, have a look for yourself...

Somedays I hate Blogspot.com...

2011-05-13T13:53:00.002-04:00

Ok, so I started a post yesterday... had a bunch of pictures, etc. I finally finished it today (put a bit of time into it) and clicked "post." I haven't a clue what happened, but it gave me an error message, and guess what?! None of it saved as a draft!!! UGH! That makes me so mad!!!
Back to the drawing board... I'm sure it won't be as witty the second time around... =(

Natural Bridge, VA

2011-05-13T13:47:00.004-04:00

When you are stuck in the middle of nowhere, it is pretty much imperative that you strike out into the great unknown of your environment and explore the beauty that can be found (in reality, beauty can be found just about anywhere if you just look for it). Well, that is just what CJ and I decided to do last weekend. We chose to head west to a historical point of interest known as Virginia's natural bridge (coincidentally located in Natural Bridge, VA - ok, so it wasn't a coincidence). Why historical you ask? There are a few historical aspects, dating back to our forefathers in the 1700s... and then of course, there is always the fact that God created it thousands of years ago. Here's the stuff I learned while there... Jefferson bought it (along with much of the land around it) from King George III for 20 shillings (approx. $2.40) back in 1774. Even before that, George Washington (you know, like the first President of the United States? yeah, that one) surveyed the bridge and carved his initals 23 feet up on the inside of the bridge. I'm sure I'll never know how he managed to get 23 feet up, seeing as they hadn't invented cherry pickers yet.

It's nearly impossible to make out the "GW," but I am told that is what is in the little white box and of course I believe everything I am told (obviously). ;)

Almost as soon as we got past the concession stands, we arrived at the natural bridge. CJ and I were rather disappointed because after driving more than an hour to get there, we were all ready for a nice long hike. Besides the fact they charged a whopping $18 PER PERSON (is that not INSANE?!). I mean I didn't pay a cent (because my guys is awesome like that), but it's the principle of the matter. They should not be allowed to charge for something that should be open to the public. It is a national historical landmark, so I have no doubt my tax dollars make their way to Natural Bridge, VA. It's not like they even provide you with a ski lift to the top like the natural bridge in Kentucky. In fact, they don't even allow you to hike up to the top at all. Ok, I'll step down from my soapbox now...

In any case, it was pretty, and worth seeing once.

We did continue hiking past the bridge along Cedar Creek. It was quite beautiful and the weather was perfect!

At the end of the trail were some small falls... great photo opportunity, which I did not let slip away. I offered to take a picture of a nearby couple and of course they offered to return the favor. So, I got a cute shot of CJ and myself in front of said falls. Maybe I'll post it on Facebook. =)

FOAMHENGE

2011-05-11T10:14:00.003-04:00

You may think it a typo or somekind of mistake, or you might even just assume I am plain ol' crazy, but no... there is an actual place in this world called Foamhenge, and I have been there (and lived to tell about it!).

I was in middle-of-nowhere, VA, when out of the blue, sign appeared! C. and I HAD to check it out. =)

Lo and behold, we found what looked an awful lot like Stonehenge, but without the stones.

It was truly made entirely of styrofoam! Who would think to do such a thing? Funny you should ask. His name is Mark Cline. He is apparently some kind of artist, and based on some his projects (and the sign he posted), I'd venture to guess he is a little off his rocker.

Here is the aforementioned sign. I thought it quite amusing (but sad that he had to post such a thing at all - where is respect for other people and their property?!?!?!?!).

Here is a comic strip that mentions Foamhenge. This was a reprint that was posted on a bench near the psuedo-historic site.

The Flora of Monticello

2011-05-04T12:53:00.003-04:00

I don't know if the flowers and foliage around Monticello is anything like wast it was in Jefferson's day, but it is my favorite part of Monticello... just so pretty! Here are some of the flowers I saw on Saturday.

Here is a view of the landscape from the house...

And a shot of the house itself.

Just Keep Driving

2011-04-28T08:32:00.002-04:00

I suffer from a condition known as wanderlust (if you can call it suffering). I've had it my whole life. I thought travel was the cure, but as it turns out, it only feeds the disease. The more I travel, the more I want to travel. And the more I see, the more my curiosity is peaked and I need to know what else is out there! I have spent a lot of time in the car - well, in many cars, many rental cars. When I drive, I see other ways of life, worlds so far removed from the one I live in, and it makes me wonder what it would be like to live like those people. I remember as a child, looking up at the huge high-rise apartments, imagining the lives of all the different families, who made there homes there, above the hustle and bustle of the city. I imagined what it would be like to be one of those people. I remember seeing the Soldiers in the news during desert storm, living in tents in the sandy wasteland of the Middle East, and thinking about what that must feel like - residing in a war zone. During our 3 week cross-country road trip several years ago, I saw farms and wide open spaces and considered whether that would not be better than suburbia. Well, over the years, I have had the chance to live in a city (in a high-rise apartment), in the country, in a hotel for months on end, in a war zone, in a military barracks, and in the Caribbean. Though I enjoyed each of those experiences for what they were worth, they were never quite as good as I had imagined. I still faced times of loneliness, depression, uncertainty, and the daily struggles of life. The landscape is always so diverse, changing from state to state, city to city, and even country to country. But what I have found is that anyplace can look perfect from a distance. It is when you get out from behind the windshield that you can see the flaws and imperfections. The longer I remain in any given place, the more I notice its shortcomings, and the more I long for greener pastures. It seems there is no remedy, except maybe to just keep driving.

C. calls this the Joshua Tree... I drive past it every day on my way to his apartment.

I love this old, run-down shed... so typically quaint... one of C-ville's many beauties.

RR tracks in Charlottesville, VA

A rainbow on Long Island (not something we see frequently there)

A Walk in the Park

2011-04-21T10:14:00.001-04:00

C. and I went for a lovely walk in the park the other night. Of course, I took my camera along and captured some shots of the flora along the way. Thankfully, C. is a very patient person (or at least patient with me) and didn't seem to mind the numerous stops I took to acquire said photos.

Old Rag

2011-04-18T13:48:00.002-04:00

I hadn't been hiking up Old Rag in quite a few years. I had forgotten how long it actually takes to get all the way to the third peak!

The day could not have been more perfect! A beautiful blue sky and the trees just beginning to show their green leaves budding...

My hiking companion was getting a little tired. but even he thought the view was worth it. =)

I love VA Dogwoods! They are especially plentiful in this part of VA it seems. So pretty... I just had to get a photo.

He's Not My Type

2011-04-13T10:05:00.006-04:00

I've heard it many times and have said it oft' myself. The idea of even having a "type" is kinda ridiculous when you think about it. Way to throw the baby out with the bathwater! I have an excuse, poor as it may be. I really didn't want to get into a relationship - not casual dating, and definitely not a serious courtship. I liked the freedom I had and wanted to never suffer the misery that is marriage (or at least what I had seen it to be in the lives of many around me). Yeah, I complained about the single life because it's expected. And sometimes even thought about how it would be nice to have someone in my old age. But as long as things were going swimmingly in my professional life, I was quite content in my singleness. So, when people would try to set me up with different guys, without giving them a chance, I would give them a flippant "Oh, he's not my type." Well, God has a sense of humor. If someone had asked me to describe my "type," I probably would have said something to the effect of a musically-inclined military man, with a heart for missions and a disdain for the ipod, ipad, and anything else "i" related. A man, older, stronger, and wiser than myself, with a desire to change the world. Instead, God sent me a man much younger than myself, with a disdain for military life, a love for all things Mac, and an obsession with Bob Dylan. People keep asking me, after all these years of forswearing men, why this guy? It may not seem a likely match, but I see God's fingerprints all over it. He is truly perfect for me in every way. So, for all of you questioners out there, I don't know if I can give you a satisfactory answer via blog, but I will tell you what it is I see when I look at the man I adore.

First off, let me assure you that he is a Christian, who sees eye-to-eye with me on my non-negotiables (namely Sabbath keeping and infant baptism). While those are important to me, they are not the things that swept me off my feet. I suppose there are a lot of things that contributed to this unlikely romance, so let me begin at the beginning. My year in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba probably worked in his favor - a place where compliments flow in as great quantity as the alcohol on that island. I quickly grew accustomed to the pick-up lines and overblown flattery. Mind you, I took it for what it was worth - absolutely nothing. I didn't let it go to my head. I did, however, become hyper-distrustful of men and their thinly-veiled intentions regarding me and any female within view. That being said, my first day back in the States brought me face to face with a sweet, seemingly innocent boy (I say "boy" because he is several years my junior and looks even a bit younger than that when he is clean-shaven). He talked with me, not to get something, but because he was genuinely interested. He looked into my eyes as he spoke and wasn't long before his eyes spoke volumes. We became fast friends, discussing life, religion, philosophy, and politics. We didn't agree on everything, but held common ground on the essentials. Our debates were often lively, rarely heated, and always ended on good terms. We disagree about the exact date that it went from friends to more than just friends, but only by a few days. According to him, it was the night he took me out on our first date (I saw it as dinner and a movie with a friend). Apparently, we "shared a moment" over fajitas. For me, it was the first night I went to his apartment (to cut his hair). After the haircut, he asked me to stay and watch Avatar, a movie I had not seen, despite all the hype. It was during that movie that he reached for my hand. It was electric - I don't know how else to describe it. We had it all... the friendship, the common interests and beliefs, and this touchy-feely thing people call chemistry (whatever it is, we have it!). All of that to say, I am glad I was not limited by a "type" because God sent me the only man able to tear down my walls and win my heart. He is everything I want and nothing I could have imagined. *happy sigh*

Downtown Fayetteville

2011-03-24T13:36:00.001-04:00

I was given an hour lunch break, so not knowing what to do with myself, my brand new GPS and I took a trip to the older part of town. It was quite adorable. I wandered down the main street (Hay St.), and stopped to eat at a little mom and pop shop, where I struck up a conversation with the waitresses and a retired Soldier. We discussed Iraq and Afghanistan and the defense contracting world... you know, all the usuals.

I liked the old City Market, so I took a few pictures from various directions.

And then just some street shots...

Fayetteville

2011-03-23T11:37:00.003-04:00

I've already complained to some of you about how much I dislike Fayetteville, NC, but I have to admit it is not all bad. Through the yellow/green haze of pollen (I am not even kidding! When the wind blows, there is a literal CLOUD of pollen!), there are some pretty things - plus, I am LOVING the warm weather. =)

The magnolias are already in bloom down here.

I cross this railroad track in the morning on my way to work. You can't see it all that well in this picture, but there is wisteria hanging from the bridge over the track. I like it. =)

The Super Moon

2011-03-22T11:24:00.002-04:00

The newspapers were all touting this massively huge moon - the largest we would see in our lifetimes. This made me axious to see it. I was pretty disappointed that I couldn't get a good picture of it, but it was beautiful and looked HUGE in real life. I'm not sure you can even tell the moon from the street lights in the above picture, but it's there. I promise.

Road Tripping

2011-03-21T21:05:00.004-04:00

I had to make a trek down US-29, from VA to NC for work. Along the way, there were some interesting sights. First, I saw a fire just north of Lynchburg. It was devouring an entire hillside and there was no one in sight trying to contain it. The plumes of smoke, rising heavenward, could be seen from a mile away!
Farther on, I came to a very small town by the name of Tightsqueeze. I was so intrigued by the name, I Googled it when I got to my destination and logged on to the hotel wifi. There was actually a rather interesting story behind the name. Apparently, a Mr. W. H. Colbert built a large general store in 1870. He put it right up to the edge of the dirt road so that ladies riding in carriages could step out of carriages onto the porch of the store building. Well, shortly after that and Mr. Isaiah Giles built a blacksmith-wheelwright shop right across the road directly in front of Colbert's Store, also at the edge of the road. Colbert complained about Giles putting his building to the edge of the road in front of his store, but Giles contended that if Colbert could put his store building to the edge of the road, he could too. When the buggies and wagons came galloping down the road at high speeds, they had to slow down to a walking pace to pass through the narrow passage between the two buildings because it was such a "tight squeeze." The drivers began warning travelers about that particular spot and that is how it got its name.
One thing I noticed was how many farms there are in VA and NC. Growing up in the suburbs, not too far from the greatest city ever, I always imagined that all the farms were out in the Mid-West and not along the East Coast. It's kind of amazing to me how many people grow up and live their whole lives away from the hustle and bustle of the big cities. I often wonder if I could ever be happy with such a life, having already tasted the pleasures of city life. I don't know... it is hard to imagine!
It was interesting watching the colors change as I went farther south, from shades of brown with hints of green, yellow and pink, to shades of green, with vibrant yellow and white blossoms everywhere. Despite my northern roots, the south calls to me. I have a feeling I will end up in warmer climates.
I am sure there were other things I found interesting at the time, but I have forgotten them already. I guess they didn't make too much of an impression.
Until next time...

Some pictures from GTMO

2011-02-24T14:43:00.002-05:00

I LOVED my blue nail polish... made my toes match my flip-flops!

Near "The Slot" there is a great view of the lighthouse.

another beautiful view

a sample of Cuban flora...

A Fox in NY

2011-02-23T15:04:00.001-05:00

I have never before seen a fox on Long Island, so I HAD to take a picture when I saw one. =)

My Apologies...

2011-01-13T21:08:00.002-05:00

Ok, so I have HORRIBLE about updating my blog. I know. And I am sorry. I am back from a 10 month stint in the Caribbean, where connectivity was the worst I've ever experienced. I can't totally blame it on the bad internet. I was also insanely busy with equal parts of work and play. No that I am back in the States, I plan to post some of the pictures and get back into some kind of a routine of posting. We'll see how that goes... You know what they say about the best laid plans of mice and men...

The Curse of Empathy

2010-12-07T18:52:00.002-05:00

Heartless is not an attribute I would want for myself, but sometimes I think there has got to be a middle ground between that and where I am. I have certainly experienced times of absolute apathy. I am sure there is nothing worse than that – the inability to feel at all is something I would wish on no one. I believe apathy is depression’s closest friend. It does not feel pain, but fails to see a need for existence. Once the desire to live is gone, the struggle to live ends. I know people like this… it is almost hard to describe such a one as actually living at all… they are more like dead men, walking.
Now empathy is the exact opposite of apathy. You might be thinking that if apathy is the worst of all possible experiences, then empathy, being it’s opposite, would be the best. But I can tell you from experience that is not the case. They are merely opposite ends of a spectrum, in which “ideal” lands somewhere in the middle. If apathy feels nothing, empathy feels EVERYTHING… the ability to feel the joy, and even more so, the pain of others so acutely, it might as well be your own. I can’t even count the number of times I have lain awake in bed, tears streaming down my cheeks as I pray for my friends and family. This last month has been particularly hard, partially because I am so far away from the ones I love and completely unable to help them in any tangible way, and partially because it has been a particularly difficult month for so many of my friends and family members. It seems like each day brings more news of depression and suicidal thoughts, of heartache and loss, of families falling apart, and the loneliness that accompanies it all. I pray and pray and yet the pain and sorrow seems to increase. This morning I got on Facebook and read a note that one of friends my friends wrote about her cousin, who just died in a car accident this week. I’ve never met the young man, whose life was ended so suddenly, but in reading my friend’s words, her pain was so real to me, I couldn’t hold back the tears.
When I got to my office this morning, I found myself singing a song I hadn’t heard in years:

When the weight of the world is on my shoulders
And my branches are broken,
I will remember you…
Oh, Lord, my God, You walk beside me
Through my laughter, the tears…

And it suddenly struck me that although I was praying for all these people, I have still been trying to carrying the weight of it all around with me rather than “casting my cares on Him who cares for me.” Christ knows what it is to carry the weight of the world on his shoulder… He carried not only the pain, but actually paid the consequence of all our sin on the cross, bearing OUR shame so that WE might be found guiltless before God. What an amazing thought!
It doesn’t change the fact that I feel the pain of others, but a dose of perspective goes a long way. The cross I bear is so insignificant compared to His cross and the pain HE bore for ME.

Déjävu... all over again

2010-09-06T10:18:00.003-04:00

Memories are odd things and flash-backs are even stranger to me. I find that the more I travel, the more it happens. I will walk down a street or through a corridor that seems oddly familiar and suddenly I can see in my mind’s eye, an entire story play out - a story I lived once upon a time. Sometimes I am conscious of it… other times it is there, but less obvious - sort of de' ja vu.

I realized the other day that I have spent a lot of time in the Atlanta airport, more than seems appropriate, seeing as I’ve never lived near Atlanta. On Friday, I was on the escalator, heading to the rental car place when I was suddenly seized with a desire to take off running for gate B12. It took me a second to remember the whole incident, but the memory came back all too vividly. It was the summer of 2007. I had been stuck at the Glynco jetport for hours, thinking I would get stuck there overnight and miss a family celebration back at home. The storms passed and I was able to get the only flight out that day, but was told if was very unlikely that I would make the connecting flight in Atlanta. I was pretty determined to get home that night. I prayed the whole way and ran like the wind through the airport, making record time and arriving at gate B12 just as they were about to close the door. They let me on - I was the last passenger to enter the fully-booked flight.

Upon reaching the lower level, I picked up my pace, quickly walking through the terminal and was suddenly transformed into a 16-year-old girl in a floral and lace dress, carrying a suitcase and a pillow. It was the first time I was striking out on my own - I did not yet own a rolling suitcase, so I was quickly tiring of carrying my heavy baggage, and while excited, was very apprehensive as I tried to figure out the maze that was this massive airport. The tram was being built (or maybe just renovated), so I had to walk the whole way. It took me almost a half hour to walk from one end of the airport to the other (it always seems to work out that my connecting flight are always on the opposite end from the gate where the first plane pulls in - that much has remained the same for me over the years).

This walk through memory lane continued as I followed signs for the exit. I saw shops and kiosks that I remembered seeing through tears that blurred my vision as I had tried to hold back the emotions that choked me only months earlier when I wanted more than anything to return west to the Soldier I had just left - a boy I loved more than life itself and yet wondered if I’d ever see again in this life.

Each memory was so vivid, and yet so different from one another and from this current journey. What does it all mean? Nothing, really. Having been thinking of these times gone by, re-living them, even, I thought I’d write about it because it’s what my mind keeps returning to. Writing helps me put things away on some mental shelf and move on.

Regret

2010-07-25T20:39:00.001-04:00

In recent years it has been popular to shun regret. I, myself bought into this philosophy, believeing that every experience is a learning experience and therefore a good one. What I have come to realize is that my logic was fatally flawed. While it is true that you can learn from mistakes, that doesn't make the mistake a good experience. It was still a bad choice and a bad experience. I have made some very bad choices over the course of my life, and though it is easier to say "oh, well, it was a learning experience," it would be more beneficial for me to call it what it is - more often than not: sin. Despite what we'd like to believe, regret has its place in our lives. Our culture would like to believe that there is no absolute truth... it's all about perception and how we view things based on our own personal experience. But there was a time when people felt things like shame, and rightfully so. Now, we manage to repress it. Guilt, regret, and shame - things that are meant to help us not repeat bad choices - are now lumped into a category of things that ought never to be felt. If you do admit to having those kinds of feelings, people will tell you that you need to "work through" it. I've come to the conclusion these feelings are the result of a conscience that still knows right from wrong, even if we would like to believe otherwise. Don't deny the feelings... even the tenderest of consciences can become hardened after years of accepting the lie that we ought not regret our bad choices and mistakes. Pain is not always necessary in the pursuit of joy, and at the very least suffering with a clear conscience is better than suffering because of one's own failures.

13.9 days of kissing?!?!

2010-06-14T21:25:00.002-04:00

That dumb gum commercial about how "most people spend 20,000 minutes of their lives kissing" made me wonder what 20,000 minutes computes to in real world time... the answer is: 13.9 days... almost 2 WEEKS!!! Maybe it's just because I am not most people, but I cannot imagine that I will ever be able to say that I spent 2 weeks of my life kissing! Or that I would want to...

Radio Silence

2010-03-18T20:02:00.002-04:00

I know it has been a while since I have updated my blog... I will probably be posting to this one much less over the coming year. I do have another blog (it is less public - more for friends and family). If I have not already given you the link, feel free to email/message me, and I will send you the link.

This is Island Girl, signing off...

It's the Little Things

2010-03-02T21:28:00.002-05:00

A friend of mine always responds to questions with "in the grand scheme of things, does it really matter?" His question got me thinking, because I think the answer is yes. They may seem unimportant, but by the same token you could say any one life is insignificant when compared to the multitudes out there. You could say that the things that one breaking heart or one rejoicing soul is unimportant in the grand scheme of things, but Jesus said that not a sparrow could fall from the sky without the notice of God. If He is concerned with little things, isn't it appropriate that we be as well? I have always found beauty in the little things. Yes, a sunrise can be spectacular, crashing waves, awe-inspiring, and places like the Grand Canyon, well, beyond description. But what about a raindrop on a flower petal, or the little fingers and toes of newborn, or the simple touch of the one you love? Are these things insignificant or unworthy of our attention merely because they are small and fail to stand out in the grand scheme of things? Maybe I am a bit on the sentimental side, but I think it is the little things that make life beautiful.

It Don't Gitmo Better!

2010-03-02T12:20:00.002-05:00

Since everything moved so quickly, and I went from "unemployed" to "out of the country" in under two weeks, many of you are still wondering what happened. So, here it is... the latest of the many crazy stories that make up my life:
I attended a job fair at the end of January. While there, I met quite a few people who were looking for someone like me (i.e. an analyst, who is willing to go anywhere at a moment's notice, and particularly wants to go to Iraq or Afghanistan). One contract company that stood out to me was one with an open position in GTMO. I had actually not considered Guantanamo Bay prior to that, but when he told me about what the position entailed, it sounded ideal. I gave him a copy of my resume and he gave me his business card so I send it him an electronic version. I got home an hour later, got online to send out my resume to handful of email addresses I had collected at the job fair. All the business cards were right where I left them (in the folder I had with me) except for the one for the GTMO position. I was really upset about it, but after trying several different ways off getting the recruiter's contact info, I gave up and assumed it was just not meant to be. In the meantime, I was talking to a contract company that wanted to send me to Iraq, and I was scheduling interviews with some of the other companies. The snow storm delayed two of the interviews, so the week after all the snow, I had interviews almost every day. That Thursday morning, just before heading off to one of the interviews, the company, whose business card I had lost, called me!!! I was totally shocked. They asked me to come it on Friday to talk about the position in GTMO. Friday morning , before I left, I was offered the Iraq position. I still continued on my way. Despite being an hour late for the interview (due to the lovely traffic in this area) I was offered the job on the spot, and I promptly accepted. When I returned home that afternoon, I was offered the job from Thursday's interview, which I turned down (btw, I also turned down the Iraq position that afternoon). I stayed up until 0300 that night (or morning) packing up my stuff. I continued packing until Tuesday night. With much help from a couple of friends, I got all my earthly belongings into a Budget truck and off I went. Everything is being stored in my Mom's garage. And I will be down in the Caribbean for the next year with 4 card board boxes filled with clothes (think xerox paper size), a suit case, my electric guitar, and an amp (got all the important things covered!). =) That's pretty much it - oh, and then I was offered a position in Afghanistan that Saturday (I'm telling you, when it rains, it POURS!!!).

I will try to keep y'all updated... it will all depend on connectivity and the amount of free time I have to blog.

It is enough that He knows

2010-02-23T06:17:00.003-05:00

August 1, 2009 was not exactly a high point in my life. After 9 weeks of the most intense training I had ever been through, I was dropped from USMC OCS and returned to civilian life. I was worn out, physically, emotionally drained, and very unsure of my future. However, I was still confident that God was in control, and as my Father, He wanted what was best for me. I had a great support system of friends and family, who were very understanding. One of my friends texted me as soon as she found out.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

It was meant as an encouragement (and taken that way), but I remember thinking to myself at the time, "well, it is great that He knows, but I would like to be in on the secret as well! It is my future after all." Almost 7 months later, I am very thankful that I was not in on the secret. First of all, if I had known that I would go 6 months without getting a single response from any of the jobs I applied to, I would have been too discouraged to even begin. Second, the waiting time was a great (great in terms of immensity - obviously not a pleasant experience) time of testing for me. During months 1 - 3, my faith was strong. The holiday months were a little harder with their ups and downs, but I was surrounded by my wonderful family, and just felt so blessed with all the non-material things in life that I couldn't be too discouraged. Then January rolled around... A new year, a new start, but I was still stuck in a rut - no change, nothing hopeful on the horizon, still unemployed. That was when the true test came. There were some very dark days (and even darker nights) - far more tears than I would like to admit, and often, my faith was not what I would have thought it would be. But as the saying goes, night is darkest just before the sun rises. Well, the sun is finally shining again, but I hope I do not quickly forget the lessons learned over the last year.

My life is in His hands, and it is ok if I do not know what the future holds.

10 days and counting...

2010-02-22T23:54:00.003-05:00

I got the official offer letter today. I pick up the U-Haul truck tomorrow. I leave for home (as in, where my family lives) the day after tomorrow. Once all my earthly goods are securely stowed away in my old bedroom, and I have said my farewells to my family, I will come back here for a day of training and then promptly leave the country. I really have no idea what internet will be like over there... not sure if I will have connectivity at all outside of the office. I hope to keep updating the blog, but really, who knows what to expect.

There is so much more I would like to say, but right now, I still have to finish packing (72 hours just isn't enough time to pack up one's life!).

Another grand adventure is about to begin!

Like a Mustard Seed...

2010-02-20T00:37:00.003-05:00

Sometimes I am just so overwhelmed by God's graciousness to me! It was only a couple of days ago that I was disappointed that I would not be getting the job I wanted. Today, I was not only offered that very job, but only hours later, an even better one!

I cannot help but feel like Job, who when confronted with the omnipotency and omniscience of God, is humbled into silence. Oh, that I would be silent more often and not question God's authority!

I know my faith is often weak, but in my weakness, He shows Himself strong. And despite my faithlessness, He proves Himself faithful. It is at moments like these that I am so thankful for a God who is willing to use faith as small as a mustard seed.

Remembering Nanny

2010-02-17T10:01:00.003-05:00

On this day 109 years ago, my great-grandmother was born. Her name was Amy, but to her many grandchildren and great-grandchildren, she was simply, "Nanny" or "Nan." The most kind-hearted woman I have ever known, she will forever be a role model for me. She lived to 92. I feel so blessed to have had to chance to know Nanny. She spent every summer of my childhood with us here in the north and then migrated to Florida in the winter. One of the most memorable weeks of my childhood is the one my cousins and I spent in Florida with Nanny - picking oranges and grapefruit right off the tree, singing for her friends (we were used to performing on demand), playing the number game... the list goes on and on.

Her life was not an easy one, and yet she lived it with such grace. I'm not sure I will ever come near to becoming the godly woman that she was, but it is something I can strive for. She went to be with the Lord almost 17 years ago, but her memory will remain with me forever.

I love you, Nanny!

Hypocrisy Exposed

2010-02-16T17:17:00.005-05:00

Thy Word is lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path... Psalm 119:105

A friend of mine recently told me that we have to walk in the light we are given. If we are given guidance and turn from it, we can't expect to be given more. While I know this to be true, I have not been living this way. I said I was asking for guidance, but what I was really asking for was that the light would shine in a different direction. I wanted a specific job, a specific guy - and I prayed about these things, but I am realizing that I did not want direction. I wanted affirmation - a celestial smile of approval that would allow me to move forward. Well, it never came. It looks like I will not be getting the job I had hoped for. The guy... well, I think I knew from the moment we met, that it would never work. And me? Well, I am trying to come to terms with reality - the reality of my own failures and shortcomings, and the reality that seeking God's will for my life is more than wishing on a shooting star. I need to be honest with myself and realize that the happiness that comes from walking in the light is not necessarily the happiness of fulfilled desires. Sometimes our desires are met... and sometimes they are transformed... to mirror His promises. So, for the time being I am trying to find my way back to the lit path (stumbling around in the dark is getting old).

A Prince Among Men, and Charming too!

2010-02-16T12:59:00.005-05:00

There are those individuals you meet in life, who are almost redemption for all the rest of the people you have to deal with on a daily basis. I often have a hard time thinking well of men. I feel like every time I turn around I am faced with another loser man doing what you would expect loser men to do... everything from standing up a sweet girl, to beating up a girlfriend within an inch of her life, to cheating on his wife, or abandoning his children without a thought of ever paying child support. Yes, I have met men like this... far too often. These are the things that make me cynical (if I am indeed cynical as I have often been accused).

But every time I talk with my sister and hear about her sweetest of all men, my faith in the male gender is renewed (that is NOT to say I trust men, but at least I know there are good ones out there). I could not have found a better guy for my sister if I had tried. If perfection existed, I think he just might be it. He is gentle and kind. He was patient when she wouldn't give him the time of day (he was interested in her months before she came around... and I sat back and watched, rooting for him). And there is just a sweetness about him. Every time I see them together, his adoration for her is so evident... I could not be more thrilled for them both!

Winter Olympics: 2010

2010-02-12T23:59:00.004-05:00

Ok, let me just begin by saying, after the Beijing Opening Ceremony I did not think another country could compete, but I have to admit, Canada impressed me! Vancouver did a FABULOUS job!!! It was one of the BEST Opening Ceremonies I have EVER seen. Vancouver has won my undying admiration. It was a spectacular show by any standard. The use of light, pyrotechnics, digital imagery, and other modern technology, created a surreal atmosphere in the olympic arena. David Atkins is a genius! Granted, this is coming from someone who was watching from the comfort of her living room couch, but I can only imagine how much more fantastic it was for those actually present! One of the highlights for me was near the beginning, when it looked like there were whales, swimming beneath the surface of the ice - complete with water (or some equivalent) bursting from the floor like blow holes. Of course, being a fan of Sarah McLachlan, I also enjoyed the the whole "tree" segment. And then there were the snow boarders and skiers, suspended over a sheet mountain... honestly, I just really loved the whole thing.

I should probably admit my bias here. I am, and have always been, a huge fan of the Olympics. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that when my Mom was pregnant with me, she watched the 1980 Winter (Lake Placid - in my home state!) and Summer (Moscow) Olympics (she even came up with my name during the gymnastics... I guess you could say, I was named after a gymnast)... or maybe it was that watching the Olympics (both Summer and Winter) was a family event growing up.

Vancouver did have its share of troubles... Nothing goes off without a hitch, even a production costing upwards of $40 million. In this case it was a hydraulic system malfunction. Unfortunately, Vancouver's hitch came at a most inopportune time: the lighting of the torch - the single most important event of the opening ceremonies. One of the four pillars failed to rise, resulting in a stranded torch-bearer, holding a flame and having nothing to light. Poor Catriona LeMay Doan. =( Despite that little mishap, I think the media is making too big a deal out of it. The torch was lit, the games continue. The end... or the beginning.

It was a shock to no one that Wayne Gretzky would be one of the torch-bearers, in a country where ice hockey rules. Even one of the American ice hockey competitors was asked to guess who would carry the final flame of the 2010 games, and he named Gretzky as the "safe bet."

This year, there were a couple of traditions I picked up on that I had never noticed before.

1. Greece always leads the Parade of Nations since the Ancient Olympics games originated in Greece, and the first of the modern Olympic games was hosted by Greece in 1896.

2. The host nation enters last.

Interesting Facts:

1. No South American country has ever medaled in the Winter Olympics

2. Canada is America's largest oil importer

3. Iceland has the northernmost capitol in the world and yet has never medaled in a Winter Olympics

4. Iran brought its first female to represent at a Winter Olympics (alpine skiing)

5. 82 countries are represented at the 2010 Olympics

6. 2638 athletes arrived in Vancouver to compete in the 2010 Olympics

7. 215 of the athletes are representing the United States, surpassing Canada's 206

8. In Torino, Italy, (2006) Germany won the most medals (the US came in second and Canada was third). This year, Canada does not want to be shown up on their own turf. =)

Most touching/memorable moment:

The world gave a standing ovation in the arena as Georgia entered to honor the luge athlete, Nodar Kumaritashvili, who died on the luge track earlier in the day.

Missing Countries:

Afghanistan

Iraq

Most of the African countries

Trinidad (I guess they don't have any bob-sledders left)

There were many more missing, but these are the ones I noticed

Well, that was a great start to a great tradition. Let the games begin!!!

Oui, Oui!

2010-02-12T13:32:00.003-05:00

Thanks to the seemingly unending snow, I have spent quite a bit of time in the kitchen. One of the things I decided to tackle was French Onion Soup. I had never tried it before, but we had a bag of onions and left over beef stock in the fridge, so it seemed like a good idea. I looked up several different recipes and realized that they all called for some kind of wine or sherry. Since we had neither in the house, we made an emergency trip to Trader Joe's in the storm, picked up some white wine and French baguettes (also got some fire wood while we were out), and I was set. The whole process took a little longer than I had expected (2 hours in all), but it was more than worth it! There is really nothing better than some hot soup, a fire, and a good movie to help weather a blizzard! =)

To Have or to Have Not

2010-02-11T17:36:00.003-05:00

Rejection at any age hurts. In grammar school, it's being picked last in a team sport. In high school it is not being asked to the dance... or worse, being politely (or maybe not so politely) declined. As an adult (at least for most girls), it is being alone on Valentine's Day. It seems ridiculous. Most even-headed single girls, who are not out there in search of a guy merely to have a guy, are fairly content with where they are, hoping that someday Mr. Right will materialize, but not willing to settle for something less. Even these girls seem to lose their wits when February rolls around. They look around and all they see is couples... it seems like the whole world is paired off... well, almost the whole world. And suddenly, being alone on that one day of the year seems like a fate worse than death (yes, I do speak from experience). I was thinking about this as I watched yet another e-harmony commercial, and suddenly, the answer seemed so simple. It is like childhood all over again... like sitting alone at lunch, or not having anyone to play with at recess. It is not the being alone part, it is the fact that there are other people around and yet they don't want to be with YOU. It's rarely personal, but we see it that way just the same. It is rejection in yet another form... a social snub. Others want to be with someone, but that someone is just not you.

Well, here is a challenge, girls (and guys), instead of feeling sorry for yourself, look around. There are other people out there who are alone - people who feel rejected... reach out to those people and be that someone who wants to spend time with them. Make them feel loved and wanted. Because, let's be honest... we all just want to feel like we belong sometimes.

A Winter for the History Books

2010-02-10T11:22:00.002-05:00

As a lover of history, I have always wanted to be in the middle of a historical event. What I am quickly learning is that history is more romantic in hind-sight. Once you can look back and analyze what happened, how it happened, and the events that led to it, it is exciting - it is history. Until that point, it is simply life. I have been a part of historical events. I have witnessed some amazing things, but they passed by quickly and their significance only dawned on me after the fact. Now, we are in the middle of the craziest winter this area has ever seen, and all I can think about is the fact that I am going stir crazy! I just want the snow to end. I want to be able to come and go as I please, without having to deal with digging my car out or bundle up in snow gear. It may be historical - momentous, even - but I am ready for it to be over...

Master of the Kitchen... if not My Destiny

2010-02-09T11:44:00.000-05:00

A girl, happily in love, burns the souffle. A girl, unhappily in love, forgets to turn the oven on. ..~ Baron St. Fontanel in the 1954 version of Sabrina

I always found that quote to be amusing, though I have to question its accuracy, seeing as I burn just about everything and have NEVER been happily in love. The part that I find amusing, is that either way, she finds herself in the kitchen. Maybe it is because the movies is from the 1950s and that is where women were expected to be. But I would rather think that it is a normal to let emotions find their outlet in creative, culinary way. I can't even remember how many times life has driven me into the kitchen. It is where I find released. It is where I feel I have some control when everything else seems absurd. Maybe I am odd... but I would rather believe it is normal.

The Day After Snowmageddon

2010-02-07T13:15:00.004-05:00

Now that the sun is back out and blindingly reflecting off the newly-fallen snow, I couldn't help but go out and get more pictures!

Old Town looks fabulous... you can even see the Masonic Temple off in the distance

The colors on the store fronts looked so vibrant under snow-covered roofs, complete with crystal-like icicles hanging from the eaves

There were quite a few cars out, but as you can see, even Washington Blvd. looks fairly quiet, even for a Sunday morning

I am a fan of churches with steeples, and in the snow, this one was just too pretty to not take a picture of!

This car obviously needs some help...

but not as much as this one...

or this one...

Some Desires are Better Left Unmet

2010-02-06T20:21:00.005-05:00

While walking along, I could not help but notice the abundance of couples. The were everywhere I turned... under snow-covered branches...

under umbrellas...

walking their dogs...

yeah... just about everywhere. It made me kinda miss a certain person and wish he were out there with me, enjoying this winter wonderland - that is until I noticed a lady with her crazy uncontrollable dog. I thought to myself, "that does NOT look like fun. If I had a dog like that, I'm not sure I would take him for walks." That got me thinking about how we all look at the good things and want them (like lady probably saw people walking their well-behaved dog and decided she wanted one), but sometimes reality doesn't turn out like that. Not that I am comparing that certain someone to a dog, but I know that if he were actually there with me, it would not be like the cute couples I saw around me. I would probably be running for my life, dodging snowballs, or trying not get pushed into the nearest snow drift. I would be like the lady with the crazy dog wondering why I thought that was a good idea. Such is life for some of us. =P

They call it "the Blizzard of 2010," but I call it...

2010-02-06T15:07:00.006-05:00

BEAUTIFUL!!!

After we cleared the walkway and dug out the cars (not that we will be taking them anywhere soon!), I decided to go for a walk around the neighborhood and see how the snow had transformed this already adorable town.

Old Town was seriously made for snow. All the quaint light-posts and old fashioned store fronts just looked like something straight out of a Christmas card.

There were a lot of people out on King St. I was a little surprised, but I guess they were all as tired of being cooped up as I was. There were people cross-country skiing, dog walkers out with their canine companions, families, towing little ones behind on sleds, couples holding gloved hands, enjoying the glittering ambience of whiteness that had descended overnight. Everyone was in a good mood, myself included. Despite my self-proclaimed hatred of the cold, I could not help but be mesmerized by the beauty surrounding me. Simply too beautiful for words.

This one cracked me up! Someone went to a LOT of work to dig out this Mini Cooper... I'm not sure why, though, because it is not like it is gonna go ANYWHERE on roads like this! =P

Once again, the beauty of the snow on the branches above me left me completely and utter speechless (quite the fete!)

When it Rains it Pours!

2010-02-05T20:26:00.002-05:00

Or so they say... I guess today, it is more like "when it snows, it blizzards." In any case, I am using the term metaphorically as it was intended.

Unemployment has lasted much longer than I ever expected. I have entered my seventh month of sloth and lack of income. Some days are harder than others, but the Lord always provides. Until the last 2 weeks, the entire time of job searching was as unrewarding as it could possibly be - not a single phone call or email response, no less an interview for all the hundreds of resumes I submitted! Silence. The cold shoulder. I felt very unwanted. But those days are now over. I have had one interview, have another one next week, and am waiting for a job offer on a third one. Now, the problem is, which one do I accept if I am offered more than one? They each have their own advantages and disadvantages. One would keep me here - the least exciting and most comfortable. One would have me on the road (or in the air) all the time - I would have no life outside of work and my hours would be completely unpredictable. The third would send me to Iraq for a year - it's a contract position, so no job security once the year is up, and seeing as it is in a war zone, the most dangerous of the three. The third is obviously the most appealing to me for many reasons, but I can't help but wonder if it is fair to do this to my family again? I have put them through so much already. I know it is hard for my Mom when I am that far away... she worries (a normal Mom response, considering the circumstances). I just don't know... Is it a selfish choice?

This may all be jumping the gun seeing as I have not actually been offered any of the aforementioned positions, but these are the thoughts currently running through my brain.

Happy Birthday, Norman Rockwell! =)

2010-02-03T07:46:00.000-05:00

Is it ok?

2010-02-02T12:11:00.003-05:00

Is it ok to not be happy for a friend who may just have found the man of her dreams?

Is it ok to not rejoice with a former classmate who just got engaged?

Is it ok to feel less than thrilled at receiving another invitation to an engagement party, wedding shower, or baby shower?

Is it ok to want to scream when another married person walks up to you and tells you "God has the perfect man for you"?

Is it ever ok to wonder "why them and not me?"

just wondering...

There are fates worse than eternal singleness

2010-01-19T11:21:00.002-05:00

Yeah. Like that.

Hold My Heart

2010-01-19T09:07:00.004-05:00

How long must I pray to You?
How long must I wait for You?
How long 'til I see Your face, see You shining through?
I'm on my knees, begging You to notice me.
I'm on my knees, Father will You turn to me?

One tear in the driving rain,
One voice in a sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breaking heart?
One life, that's all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
Would You come close and hold my heart

I've been so afraid, afraid to close my eyes
So much can slip away before I say goodbye.
But if there's no other way, I'm done asking why.
I'm on my knees, begging You to turn to me
I'm on my knees, Father will You run to me?

So many questions without answers, Your promises remain
I can't see but I'll take my chances to hear You call my name
To hear You call my name
If You're everything You say You are
Would You come close and hold my heart.

~Tenth Avenue North

I wish I could say that I have never felt this way - that I could not possibly relate to these words, but that is so far from the truth. What bothered me more was not the way I could relate, but the way in which I could not. Despite having felt complete dependancy on God, and often crying out in desperation, I don't think I have ever asked Him to "hold my heart." If I had, maybe I wouldn't be here right now. As a child, I was often told to "guard my heart" and other such phrases, but I don't think it ever sunk in. I never really understood what that meant... until it was too late. Or is it? Is it too late to ask God to hold my heart even though I have already given it away? I wonder...

The Waiting Game

2010-01-18T10:25:00.002-05:00

This year has been an exercise in patience for me. I am not a naturally patient individual, and learning to wait on God and His perfect timing has not been an easy lesson for me. Although I know I can trust Him, doubts still linger. I have been in a holding pattern for six months and still the heavens are silent. I do not know what it is I am even waiting for, but I continue to wait. Somedays are harder than others, but God sends me encouragement along the way - today it was in the form of a friend, who is about to set off on a grand adventure. She is leaving for India next month and will be gone for a year. Talking with her over breakfast really helped to put things in perspective for me. And then on the drive home, a song came on the radio that spoke to my heart and reminded me that waiting is not the same as standing still. There are things that God is accomplishing in my life right now and there are things I can be doing to prepare for whatever it is that is coming next.

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait

Happy New Years!

2010-01-01T01:13:00.002-05:00

I just love the Google doodle! It's quite ingenious the way they got the Google and the 2010 in there. Here's to fabulous decade!!! I don't know about you, but I am psyched! =)

But I want it SWEETER!!!

2009-12-23T10:43:00.004-05:00

I went to visit a friend the other day. Her adorable children (a 5 year old girl and 3 year old boy)refer to me as "Aunt" even though we are technically not related because she was practically adopted into my family years ago. While I was there, we decided to make chocolate chip cookies (not an easy feat with well-behaved children... but with the little devil that is her son...). Well, it went like this: "go wash your hands." The sound of little feat scampering off is heard, followed by a shriek of "SHE WON'T LET ME WASH MY HANDS!" Once that was resolved we got started... Girl creams butter and sugar together while boy cracks egg... boy mixes egg with butter and sugar while girl measures flour... All the while I am there, supervising.
Boy: "yum! this is gonna be good!"
His Mom: "are you eating the dough? you are allergic to raw egg!"
Boy: "no."
I look over and realize he has added something to the mix. I thought it was baking soda, but when I asked him, he said "no, I just want to make it sweeter." Then it hit me. I knew exactly what he had added... The only other thing that looks like suger: SALT! I picked up the salt bottle, Me: "how much of this did you add?!"
Boy: "two."
Me: "two what?"
Boy: "just two. I wanted to make it sweeter!"
Me: "but that doesn't make it sweeter, it makes it disgusting!!!"
His Mom took the plunge, stuck her finger in the batter, and tasted it. The verdict: VERY SALTY! That was the end of that batch of cookies. We had to dump out the dough and start over again.
I was really irritated. One, because he didn't follow instructions, and two, that all those ingredients had been wasted. But as I thought about the whole scene on my way back home that night, I realized how like my little nephew I can be at times. How often, I fail to follow my heavenly Father's simple instructions because I think that my own way will be "sweeter." I can only imagine how many times He looks at me and says "daughter, I will make it sweet if you follow MY instructions. What you are doing is only going to ruin what could be good."
It may a silly comparison, but it was a good lesson for me.

To the Sons and Daughters of our Service Members...

2009-12-18T07:50:00.003-05:00

It's been a while since I had to actually listen to the lyrics of a song and type them out. They are usually just available online somewhere, but not this time. But this song (I'll be Brave This Christmas) touched me when I heard it on the radio this morning. I did not grow up a military brat and do not know what it is like to alway wonder where my parents were... they were always safe at home with me. I do, however, know what it is like to love and miss a Soldier who is thousands of miles away. So, for all of the many children out there whose Mom or Dad is overseas this Christmas, my heart goes out to you.

Dear Daddy, I missed you today when Mama unpacked our old Christmas tree,

And that sweet angel never looked so good on top. But my heart felt sad when you weren't you there to lift me.

It's been a while since you went off to fight the war, so this year it won't presents I'll be wishing for.

And I'll be brave this Christmas, while you're still far away

And I kneel beside my bed each night praying Jesus keeps you safe

Cuz I'm so proud of you. I hope you come home soon

But until you you do, I'll be brave this Christmas.

I see bright colors light up the Wilson's house, while rockets flash across your evening sky.

We sing carols all over town, while you're living out the cost of peace on earth tonight,

but if another little boy can grow just up up like me living in a land that's safe and free

And I'll be brave this Christmas, while you're still far away

And I kneel beside my bed each night praying Jesus keeps you safe

Cuz I'm so proud of you. I hope you come home soon

But until you you do, I'll be brave this Christmas.

Freedom isn't free, and there's a price to pay when duty calls, it takes sacrifice from us all.

And I'll be brave this Christmas, while you're still far away

And I kneel beside my bed each night praying Jesus keeps you safe

We're all I'm so proud of you and we hope you come home soon

But until you you do, I'll be brave this Christmas.

~ Big Daddy Weave

Santa, Bring My Soldier Home

2009-12-16T08:59:00.002-05:00

I heard this song for the first time today... it made me cry. My soldier just got home, and although I will not get to see him, at least I know he is safe. My heart just goes out to all those families whose loved ones are spending Christmas in Iraq or Afghanistan. For all you military Moms and wives out there, the heroes of the home-front, I'm praying for you.

Santa have you seen my soldier?
The one who wears my heart
We're so far apart, ohhhh
Santa have you seen my soldier?
I'm bravin through the lonely nights
Just getting by
Livin prayer to prayer

It's so hard to be apart this time of year
The ones you love should be near
Material things lose all their value
Cuz all I want is you

Santa have you seen my soldier?
Let him know that I miss him and love him too
Santa bring my soldier home
I need him here in my arms
Cuz love's worth fighting for
Santa bring him home

Santa bring him home
Oh oh oh ohhh

Life's not the same without my soldier
Everytime we laughed,
The comfort that we had
He's the one who's been there for me all along
He taught me to be strong enough
When times are tough
And keep the faith when I can't hold on

It's so hard to be apart this time of year
The ones you love should be near
Material things lose all their value
Cuz all I want is you
Santa have you seen my soldier?
Let him know that I miss him and love him too
Santa bring my soldier home
I need him here in my arms
Cuz love's worth fighting for
Santa bring him home
The wind blows so cold
Without your hand to hold
It's haunting my mind
Like the day we said goodbye
I'm waiting for the day
My hero comes home to me

Santa have you seen my soldier?
Let him know that I miss him and love him too
Santa bring my soldier home
I need him here in my arms
Cuz love's worth fighting for
Santa bring him home
Love love
Send my love
~ The Stunners

Honoring Our Fallen

2009-12-12T20:01:00.004-05:00

We arrived at Arlington National Cemetery at 0830, walked to archway entrance, and followed the throngs of people to one of the wreath-laden trucks. After waiting for some time, I scored a box of wreaths and we went to work. At first we got yelled at for being in the wrong section, but eventually we made it to the "open-wreathing" section. =)

The spruce wreaths with their bright, red bows looked so beautiful against the rows of marble, marking the resting places of men and women who have given so much for this country.

There many service members there... but I have to admit, I still have a weakness for USMC dress blues. =)

Here is a wreath I laid...

It was a small thing to give... an hour's time or so, but I guess in some ways it's the thought that counts. It was a good reminder to me to be thankful for all we have and of the great cost of our freedom here in America.

In His Time

2009-12-11T09:52:00.004-05:00

This morning, my former supervisor called to check in on me (he sees me as a daughter - prodigal, though I may be). And he reminded me of something I already know, but somehow lost sight of... God does everything in His own time. He has a plan and a purpose for my life, and sometimes, waiting on Him is the only thing we can do.

With my own future so uncertain, I find myself looking around at everyone else... why do they have a good job? a boyfriend?husband? kids? a house? The list is pretty much endless. When am I going to learn to be happy with the life God has blessed me with? If I could just learn to trust Him and wait on His perfect timing, maybe then I could learn contentment and find the peace that often eludes me.

Another Fabulous Concert

2009-12-10T18:28:00.002-05:00

I have been a huge TSO (that is Trans-Siberian Orchestra for those of you unfamiliar with the acronym) for quite a few years now, thanks to a dear friend who will remain anonymous.

Last night was the third TSO concert I have attended, and they did NOT disappoint! Between the additional snow, new LCD screens, and never-before-heard Night Castle songs, they pulled off another unbelievable performance! Just see for yourself.

Christmas comes but once a year...

2009-12-10T09:44:00.004-05:00

now it's here, now it's here, bringing lots of joy and cheer, fa la la la la... (that was a song from a very old cartoon that C. and K. and I used to watch as kids - I think it was called Jack Frost).

This is our lovely tree, complete with the fiber-optic angel (it is mesmerizing... the fiber-optic angel, that is). The huge gift bag next to it is from N. to me (can't wait to see what it is!).

This is my favorite ornament! N. gave it to me last year.

Mr. Snowman is one of N's ornaments. I just think he is adorable. Don't you? =)

He's strong to the finish cuz eats his spinach...

2009-12-08T06:47:00.002-05:00

He's Pop-eye the sailor man! Toot toot!!!

hahahhahahahhah...

Sometimes Christmas Makes Me Cry

2009-12-05T13:45:00.004-05:00

That is the title of the song. It's new... just came out on the radio this month. Now you might think I would hate a song with a title like this, but it struck a chord with me. I would be lying if I said I couldn't relate. These lyrics hit close to home for me on many levels:

I think of soldiers across the sea
Sometimes I wonder it's them instead of me
For my freedom they give their lives
And sometimes Christmas makes me cry

I think of loved ones who’ve passed away
And I pray their resting in a better place
I think of memories of years gone by
And sometimes Christmas makes me cry

I think of Mary and the virgin birth
And I’m amazed at how much God thinks we’re worth
That He would send His only Son to die
And sometimes Christmas makes me cry
~ Mandisa & Matthew West

There are more verses to the song than just this... and a chorus that repeats after each verse, but the verses I posted above are the ones that meant the most to me.

My New Hobby

2009-12-04T16:58:00.007-05:00

kind of...

Mother decided she wanted a wreath and so collected stray branches while we were at the Christmas tree farm. I had never made a wreath before, but Mom has this belief that I can do ANYTHING... so I was not about to disappoint her! We went to the hardware store and bought some thin wire, then collected holly leaves and berries from the neighborhood, along with a few pinecones, proceded to raid the house for bows, ribbon, glitter, and glue, and went to work.

Mom cut branches into workable pieces as I bound them together with wire and forced them into a circle-like shape. We reinforced our wreath by wiring stronger branches along the backside, and tada! A pine branch circle. =)

Mom added glitter to the pinecones and leaves while I wired the various decorations into place. The result: a fabulous Christmas wreath on the front door!

We were so pleased with it, we made a second one for Grandma.

My family is now teasing me about having found my new career. =) As much fun as it was, I don't think my hands to take all the poking pine needles long-term. They are pretty much "to'e up" as it is!

A Christmas Tradition

2009-12-04T09:47:00.006-05:00

It has been many years now that we (my family and I) drive an hour or so out east to the Christmas tree farm. We walk around picking out trees only to have other family members ridicule your choice and declare that you have no taste when it comes to finding a Christmas tree. We rib each other and tease all in good fun, and eventually settle on a tree that is not quite as nice as the very first one we saw because there is no way to find that one again. ;-P

This was my first choice, but it was vetoed by the fam... I still can't figure out why...

So, this is the one we ended up with. What can I say, sometimes ya gotta settle. hahaha...=) Just kidding. We all agreed on it (I think).

J. chopped it down, we put it in the minivan, brought it home, and set it ablaze - in colorful lights, of course!

I LOVE CHRISTMAS TRADITIONS!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

2009-11-26T08:01:00.003-05:00

From Google... =)

Movie Review: The Blind Side

2009-11-21T00:00:00.004-05:00

It's been a while since I've done a movie review on here and that is because there have been so few good movies out there. The Blind Side was a pleasant change from that. It was just an all around great movie. Based on the true story of professional football player, Michael Oher and the family that changed his life, it is both touching and uplifting. It brought me close to tears, and yet kept me laughing. I would definitely have to say it is the best movie I have seen in 2009! I now have a new favorite sports movie (it used to be Remember the Titans - still a close second). It portrays Christianity lived out. Don't get me wrong, it is not a Christian movie. Some people may actually be offended by some of the cursing, drug use, and violence in the movie. However, that aside, the focus is on the Tuohy family, the way they opened their home and their hearts to a poor boy from the wrong side of town, and the ways they changed each other along the way. It is a truly sweet story that leaves you with a feeling of happiness and good-will, and a belief that kindness still exists on earth.

My Soldier Boy is Coming Home!

2009-11-20T07:36:00.005-05:00

Ok, so he's not actually my Soldier and he's not really a boy... well, yeah, he kinda is... and home is not here, so I won't actually see him. I'm not really sure what I think about all this... I mean, don't get me wrong, I am really happy for him and his family... I am just finding that what am feeling (which, BTW, is totally irrelevant) is some kind of hard-to-describe turbulence of emotion. I have missed him so much, and yet it was still, in many ways, easier when he was deployed. For a fairly intelligent woman, I can be such a silly girl at times! UGH!

Some Things Never Change...

2009-11-17T12:55:00.002-05:00

So, I was out running this morning (something I do more consistently in the warm weather). I was at about 2 and a 1/2 miles, listening to my mp3 player, chatting with my friend, and not paying attention to the uneven surface beneath my feet. And like that, I was down. My ankle rolled and the rest of my body followed. I had a flash-back to my childhood. I always fell as a kid. I never owned pants that didn't eventually have holes in the knees, because I spent more time on the ground than I did on my feet. I did a quick check on my knees and to my surprise there were no holes... hmmm... maybe I am getting better with age. That thought didn't last long. Because when I returned home and stepped into the shower, the hot water caused that all-too familiar stinging sensation that accompanies topical injuries. So, both my pride and my knees are rather bruised. As it turns out, fabric companies have improved more over the years than I have. Oh well... =(

How does one become "un-lost"?

2009-11-16T14:59:00.003-05:00

In fairy tales, they just follow the breadcrumbs, on the road, it's the GPS. But what if you forgot to leave breadcrumbs and you don't own a GPS? What then? Where do you turn when you are so lost you can't even remember the last time you were headed in the right direction? To retrace your steps would do no good be cause you don't even know which turn was the wrong one. Was there only one wrong turn or many? Is it possible to make "lost" the new starting point, or do you have to actually get un-lost before you can move forward? I have no answers to these questions. All I have are question that lead to more unanswerable questions. I see the maze before me, but there is no map and no end in sight. So, how does one become un-lost?

Confessions of a Closet Romantic

2009-11-15T21:47:00.002-05:00

My thoughts are random at best, and I could not pretend to know where they come from. Lately, I have been thinking about romance... the ideal, the fantasy and the harsh reality. Why, I don't know... Actually, I am a romance junkie at heart, brought up on Louisa May Alcott and Jane Austen novels, madly in love with the Mr. Knightlys and Col. Brandons. Most people would probably be shocked by this confession, but it's true. I do not like modern romantic comedies and "chick flicks" because besides being unreasonable, they make me uncomfortable - too much sex and awkward innuendo. Of course my lack of interest in weddings (at least, my own) and my oft-declared intentions to NEVER get married have contributed to my reputation as a I am cold-hearted soon-to-be old maid. The truth is I have become disillusioned with the wedding industry as well as marriage (thanks to the many failed marriages I so often witness all around me). All that Hollywood tries to sell off as love is not real. It's sad, really. So many girls watch these movies, read the books, and pour over the magazines, hoping their Prince Charming will magically show up on their doorstep. It's left me with a bad taste for it all. However, while I cannot honestly say I know what it feels like to be happily in love, I do believe that true love exists. For me? Well, I don't know if I would go that far. But I do know I won't settle for less. I am not going to get married for the sake of it. If I do manage to fall utterly, hopelessly in love, then maybe. =) Until then, I will remain the single, wandering adventurer. It's not everything I would have hoped for, but it's not a bad life.

Random things you never needed to know

2009-11-13T10:20:00.002-05:00

The word "Music" originates from the Latin because the Romans called it "the art of the muses."

"Eclectic" can actually be synonym of "discriminating." It comes from the same Greek root that we get our English word "elect." It means to choose.

Based on these two facts, I have come to the conclusion that I must have a very discriminating muse. =)

Happy 40th Anniversary, Sesame Street

2009-11-10T08:08:00.003-05:00

Ok, this has got to be the last one, especially since today is the actual anniversary... My guess is that all the other Google Doodles were just leading up to this one. Very cute!

Happy 234th Birthday, USMC!!!

2009-11-10T00:01:00.000-05:00

1, 2, 3, 4, United States Marine Corps

OORAH! OORAH!

(I wish I could remember the rest, but I was always bad when it came to cadences. I knew a couple and stuck with those.)

Just want to give a shout out to all our Marines at home and abroad. Thank you for your service!!!

"People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf."
~ George Orwell

Freedom is never free, so keep up the good fight!

Back-tracking just a bit

2009-11-09T07:45:00.003-05:00

Here was the first Sesame Street Google Doodle from last week. I didn't want anyone to miss out, so I went in search of the image (thankfully, Google had it saved). =)

COUNT DRACULA!

2009-11-09T07:09:00.002-05:00

I can't believe I forgot about him. I wonder how far they are gonna go with these? Like, what about Grover? and Prairie Dawn? and Kermit the Frog? and Mr. Snuffleupagus?!

And they saved the best for last!

2009-11-08T07:47:00.002-05:00

Or, at least I am assuming this is the end of the Sesame Street characters on Google. I guess we will find out tomorrow...

Looks like I might just get them all!

2009-11-07T07:13:00.001-05:00

Yay for Sesame Street's 40th anniversary!

The Journey Continues

2009-11-06T06:58:00.004-05:00

Nine years ago, I was standing on the beach looking back at the footprints I had left in the sand. It was early morning and very cold, so I was the only one out there. As I stared at the footprint, I thought about the path I had taken that brought me to the that place in my life. I wanted to cry. My teen years were gone, the future I envisioned for myself was nowhere near what I wanted, and the only mark I had left in the world were the prints in the sand before me.

So, nine years later, another birthday arrives. I am nowhere near where I expected to be, but I am much more hopeful. Although currently jobless and once again unsure of my future, I am amazed at the ways God has worked in my life. The experiences of the last few years have been more than I ever would have dreamed of. I have been touch by the lives of many, and have in turn touched many lives. I am learning slowly that I can trust God with my life - my future - my hopes and dreams.

Here's to the last year of my 20s... let's hope it's a good one!

Two down, two more to go!

2009-11-06T06:43:00.001-05:00

How cute are they?!

When Google Meets Sesame Street...

2009-11-05T08:17:00.002-05:00

I just love Google's recent homepage pictures! Yesterday it was Big Bird's legs... today it's Cookie Monster's eyes. I hope they use Elmo and Oscar the Grouch too - oh and don't forget Burt and Ernie!

The Tragedy of Apathy

2009-11-04T12:26:00.004-05:00

There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart's desire. The other is to gain it. ~ George B. Shaw

There is some truth to this quote, but I think there is a third category that is more tragic than the first two. The third is this: to not have any desire. I have seen the apathetic life and at times even experienced it, and it is the saddest of lives.

This past year has held many disappointments for me. I've been forced to give up some dreams. In exchange I've turned to others. But through it all, there has always been something - a reason to keep going - to keep trying to achieve the things just out of reach. Maybe that is why gaining your heart's desire is such a tragedy - there would be nothing left to strive for. Those dreams are what make life worth living.

Yeah, bein' apathetic's a pathetic way to be
(I don't care)
What matters to you does not matter to me
('cause I don't care)

So take a wild guess
It's like I just couldn't care less
If all the things you find impressive
Just blew up and made those messes
That you'll frantically repair
Like it's a life or death affair
And all the while you're unaware
For this, you really shouldn't care

You all laugh at me
Like I'm not happy
With anything, any time, anywhere
And the half of me's all about apathy
And the other half just doesn't care

I'm well aware that everything
Is a far cry from all right
I'm well aware that all of us
Can at times, be too uptight
And possibly, the remedy
Is a dose of apathy
~ Relient K

"I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys-R-Us kid..."

2009-11-03T19:16:00.003-05:00

"There's a million toys at Toys-R-Us that I can play with..." Or so the song goes. I would know - I used to sing that little jingle at the top of my lungs. And I meant every word of it. I was probably a bit strange for a child. I was very happy being a kid and had no desire to grow up. Grown-ups couldn't play all day - they had to go to work, and go food shopping, and do laundry. I just could not find the excitement in any of that. My friends couldn't wait for adulthood, but I just never shared in their grandiose dreams of fame and fortune (most of my friends were boys and they thought they were going to be baseball stars).

Unfortunately, despite my best efforts, I did eventually grow up. I learned all about responsibility. I found that having a job isn't all that bad, food shopping is actually fun when you can buy whatever you want, and laundry is one of the things I actually enjoy doing. =)

Circumstances have in some ways brought me full circle. Being unemployed, I don't have to work... and by offering to babysit for a friend, I had the opportunity to play like I did many years ago. I brought the boys (ages 7 and 11) to the playground, where we proceeded to climb up and slide down the outside of an enclosed slide, swung from the zip-line, hung upside-down from the pull-up bars, played basketball, and sprinted after one another for no reason at all (I in my high-heeled boots!). I had forgotten how great it is to be a kid. Oh, to be young again!

A Walk Through my Darling Neighborhood

2009-11-02T12:59:00.002-05:00

On Fathers and Daughters

2009-10-31T12:08:00.002-04:00

It's often been said that a daughter marries a man who is similar to her father. Growing up, I didn't believe it. But as I watch my friends get married, it is funny how often that is the case. My friends whose fathers are engineers tend to go for the engineer types, those with fairly authoritarian fathers seem to go for men with strong personalities. And for myself, I tend to go for the cocky, guitar-playing types.

Even for fathers and daughters who do not share a close relationship, there is a bond there that though undeniable is hard to describe. The older I get, the more I see this in my own life. While my Mom is the one I would like to emulate, it is my Dad that I tend to see in myself. It's in the little things... he was a runner, I like to run. When things aren't going well, he turns to his guitar, I do too. He is super-messy, and as much as I hate to admit it, so am I. His sense of smell is keener than most - things like the lingering scent of soap on dishes drives him crazy, I also suffer from this. There are a number of other things that come to mind, but it would take too long to list them all here.

All that to say, I find it very interesting the way God made fathers and daughters. I often don't appreciate my Dad. And lately I've been thinking that I shouldn't take him for granted, instead, I should enjoy the common interests and eccentricities we do share.

Send Me

2009-10-30T08:48:00.002-04:00

When setbacks and failures, and upset plans,
Test my faith and leave me with empty hands,
Are you not the closest when it's hardest to stand?
I know that you will finish what you began

These broken parts, you redeem,
Become the song, that I can sing

Here I am, Lord send me,
All of my life, I make an offering,
Here I am, Lord send me,
Somehow my story, Is a part of your plan,
Here I am

Overwhelmed by the thought of my weakness,
And the fear that I'll fail you in the end,
In this mess, I'm just one of the pieces,

I can't put this together but you can

Here I am, Lord send me...

~ Here I Am by Downhere

This song came on the radio this morning and it seemed so applicable to my current situation in life, so I thought I would post some of the lyrics.

The Games We Play

2009-10-28T14:07:00.003-04:00

Lately, I have been thinking about the misery that is dating (based on the experience of friends, seeing as I have almost no experience). The dating game has to be one of the most ridiculous things ever invented. And I have to wonder, has it always been, or is it a creation of more recent years? I mean, seriously! The rules don't even make sense. And who made them up anyway?! "Don't be too available." "Don't call back for 3 days." "Wait to respond to texts and emails so it looks like your busy and actually have a life." These are some of the rules I know about. I'm sure there are a ton of other rules I am completely oblivious to. What I don't understand is why it continues. Everyone complains about it. Guys complain that they don't understand the games girls play and girls say the same about guys. No one really seems to enjoy it - or maybe that is just part of the game too... Are we supposed to pretend we don't like the game or don't follow the rules, while secretly loving all the drama it causes? Well, I don't. I don't like the drama, suspense, etc. Thus, I refuse to play the game. If I hear the phone ring, I pick it up (unless it is a telemarketer). If I want to talk to you, I will call (regardless of how much time has passed). And when I see a text come in, I try to respond immediately (and that goes for all my friends - not just guys). Maybe that means I will spend the remainder of my nights home alone with my crossword puzzles while my roommate goes out and meets new guys. And maybe that's ok. Afterall, what little dating experience I do have is filled with far more regrets than happy memories. And there is always the possibility that there is a man out there who hates the game as much as I do. So, here's to a solitary, drama-free life. ;-P