And I thought I graduated from high school long ago!

Apparently my boss puts letter grades on assignments. I am not even kidding! One of my co-workers got an A- on his "paper." Other co-workers got a B and C, respectively. I guess that is what comes of being a homeschool dad. That is the only explanation I can give... =/

So, how does it feel to be THAT old and unmarried?

How do you answer a question like that? I didn't really know what to say when a friend posed this question to me the other day. I mean, on a day-to-day basis it doesn't feel like anything. It's not like I wake up in the morning thinking, man, I am still single! I pretty much go about daily life with little thought to my relationship status (or lack thereof). There are days, however, when I think back to my childhood and my general expectations at that time. I distinctly remember how I felt one day 20 years ago upon finding out my choir director's age. My first thought was, wow! she is too old to still not be married! She at least had a boyfriend at the time, so it was only a matter of time before that would change. Of course, the paradigm from which I was working was based on all I had ever known... all the women in my family got married young. I thought that was they way it was supposed to go. So, now that I have grown up and reached an age that no other woman in my family has managed to attain while still single, my perspective has changed a bit. I don't mind that I am still unmarried. But I do not like the idea of little kids looking at me and thinking what I thought of my choir director so many years ago. I just don't want to be thought of as old. What can I say? I can be a little vain at times... =/

Déjà vu (all over again)

I had a rather interesting (notice, I did not say good) experience yesterday. I had to fly out of town for work... while I was there, I met up with some of my Army buddies, whom I had not seen in a year (ironically, it was the same day a year ago that I left Ramadi). It was great to see them again and catch up, but it was also really hard to say good-bye again. However, I had work to do and little time to dwell on it. Then, as I sat at the airport, it happened... the strangest thing! Everything was very familiar because I had been to this particular airport quite a few times in the last several years... that is not what was strange. I was waiting at the very same gate as I did a year ago... the last leg of a very long trip home. Images flashed through my mind... so real, it was hard to believe it was only a memory. I could see myself, wearing a Ramadi firefighter t-shirt and a beige hat, Adidas bag in hand. The memories kept coming... February 2008... I had left all the newly acquired friends I had made in Iraq - friends who were like family to me - and was headed back to see my real family minus one. I still had not faced the reality of my grandfather's death until I was there in the airport one year ago. The control I had over my emotions was tenuous at best... it was all I could do to keep from bursting into tears right there among hundreds of complete strangers. Fast-forward to real-time... February 2009... suddenly all the feelings and emotions of that day one year ago rushed back. The sense of dread and apprehension of the immediate future returned in full force. I'm not sure I have ever had a place bring the past into the present in such a way before. Like I said, it was an interesting experience... it was a true deja vu...