Restless

If I had to choose one word to describe myself, that would be it. I have always been restless. As a child I was always looking for adventure. In my early teen years I took to redecorating my room... every 6 months. As an adult, I've never stayed in any given career path for more than four years. I'm not sure what it is I am looking for exactly... meaning, significance, job satisfaction... all... and... none of those things.

The pastor was speaking yesterday of how the world looks for rest in all the wrong places because we can only truly find our rest in Christ. I agree with him, but even as Christians, it is still possible to feel that sense of restlessness. I really appreciate Switchfoot's song, fittingly titled "Restless." Here is the first verse:

I am the sea on a moonless night
Calling falling, slipping tides
I am the leaky, dripping pipes
The endless, aching drops of light
I am the raindrop falling down
Always longing for the deeper ground
I am the broken, breaking seas
Even my blood finds ways to bleed

I remember the first time I heard this song. It came on the radio on my way in to work. That last line, "even my blood finds ways to bleed" stuck with me for the rest of the day (I went home and bought the whole album that night). I felt like I could relate. Not only was I restless, but I was weary of my restlessness. I wanted to stop wanting to wander. Two years later, I can say that some of that has settled down a bit (I can thank my very stable husband for that), but there is still a sense in which I am still very much restless. Once again, I go back to the lyrics of that song for answers...

Until the sea of glass we meet
At last completed and complete
Where tide and tears and pain subside
And laughter drinks them dry

And there it is. Even as Christians, we will remain restless on this side of glory. We were made in His image, to spend eternity with Him, and until we can united with Him forever, restlessness tugs on our hearts, giving us that desire to go home.