I'm Convinced...

that the government thinks it's employees are 52 cards short of a full deck (leaving only the jokers). I offer evidence of this assumption... Our resident office of safety and health sends out emails before every holiday, encouraging everyone to celebrate safely. The latest email had some great recommendations concerning fireworks. Here are my favorites (the comments in blue are mine):

· Have an adult present.

because the government always hires kids - who do they think they are sending this email to?

· Use outdoors only.

but what if it's raining? *insert whiney voice*

· Never experiment or make your own fireworks

because someone smart enough to actually do this, would have no idea how to safely set it off - actually that may be the case... some of the academically smartest people I have known, have had the least amount of common sense!

· Never give fireworks to small children.

unless, of course, they are obnoxious children and need to be blown up

· Never throw or point fireworks at other people.

they might get mad at you and retaliate, but if you use something big enough and make sure not to miss, that will not be an issue

· Never carry fireworks in your pocket.

just in case you spontaneously combust

To top it all off, the email ended with, "REMEMBER: DANGER NEVER TAKES A VACATION." It was in all caps just like that too! It made me laugh. I hope you find it amusing as well. And if you learned anything about safety from reading this post, maybe you should apply for a government job. =P