Déjà vu (all over again)

I had a rather interesting (notice, I did not say good) experience yesterday. I had to fly out of town for work... while I was there, I met up with some of my Army buddies, whom I had not seen in a year (ironically, it was the same day a year ago that I left Ramadi). It was great to see them again and catch up, but it was also really hard to say good-bye again. However, I had work to do and little time to dwell on it. Then, as I sat at the airport, it happened... the strangest thing! Everything was very familiar because I had been to this particular airport quite a few times in the last several years... that is not what was strange. I was waiting at the very same gate as I did a year ago... the last leg of a very long trip home. Images flashed through my mind... so real, it was hard to believe it was only a memory. I could see myself, wearing a Ramadi firefighter t-shirt and a beige hat, Adidas bag in hand. The memories kept coming... February 2008... I had left all the newly acquired friends I had made in Iraq - friends who were like family to me - and was headed back to see my real family minus one. I still had not faced the reality of my grandfather's death until I was there in the airport one year ago. The control I had over my emotions was tenuous at best... it was all I could do to keep from bursting into tears right there among hundreds of complete strangers. Fast-forward to real-time... February 2009... suddenly all the feelings and emotions of that day one year ago rushed back. The sense of dread and apprehension of the immediate future returned in full force. I'm not sure I have ever had a place bring the past into the present in such a way before. Like I said, it was an interesting experience... it was a true deja vu...