In the Aftermath

"The sun will continue rising and setting whether or not I pass this exam - though I'd rather it not go on if I fail." ~ Anne of Green Gables

Unfortunately, the earth does not keep from spinning for the sake of one broken heart - or even for the sake of many. When it is the misfortune of others, I sometimes stop and stare in amazement at what they had to go through, or even admiration at their strength, but then I move on and forget. When disaster strikes my own family, it is altogether different. It seems as though life should not be allowed to go on. Why are people posting pictures of family vacations and newborn babies? Don't they know this is a time of mourning?! I realize that is utterly ridiculous and yet, deep down, that is what I feel. It seems the earth should stop its rotation - pause, in a moment of silence for what has been lost. Even as I go through the motions of normal life: getting dressed, driving to work... there is one constant thought... it's gone... it's all gone. The sense of loss is so great, it is literally choking me. Not because I have a great affinity for things, but because I should have been there to share in the loss - because I should have been there to help my family when they needed me. So, as another day dawns across the globe, they remain in a holding pattern, watching as water and fire destoy everything, and I watch from the sidelines, wondering how does one even begin the process of starting over... with nothing?